When I started reading Fifty Shades of Grey, it downed on me that I was looking for something to take my mind out of my own gutter. I had fallen victim of my own free time, and basically chastised myself for dabbling close to one man’s mind. When it backfired, I settled comfortably onto the story of, Christian Grey.
Grey’s Character is by far the only thing that kept my nose inside the pages of these awful books. I needed to know why she had twisted and emotionally fucked up this character to the point where I found myself defending his life style, and wanting to have a better understanding, for why men do some of the things they do. It’s common, and realistic for some men to fall in to habit due to their fears. Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of nostalgia, fear of their self worth.
Before I get really personal, let me express that it would have been delightful to see these characters in their 30’s . I can’t tell you how many times I bypassed Ana’s dialogue, simply because I felt trapped inside the mind of a 14 year old girl. Perhaps the story could have become a bit more interesting without contemporary undertakings, but I guess when one is having a romance with a millionaire those are the things we must apply to a story. I on the other hand, could’ve easily lived without having to read about the helicopter, the authors’ obsessions with Audi’s, and the fact that she made Christian a stalker.
I’m not sure why these book have become so on demand, but they’ve been pulled from some of the libraries here in Miami, not for the thousands of women on the waiting list hoping to read it, but for the fact that it’s been classified as “Porn’. Now, I understand the EL James, made these book a bit more graphic then what we’ve read in the past few years, although I’m sure its nothing we haven’t seen in movies these days. However the only thing that I can give credit to is that its open people to talking about sex again, but in a very in your face manner.
Not too long ago I found myself having an adult conversation with a man, and when I say “adult”, I’m expressing that there was nothing but pure honesty holding our words together. I spoke about how sometimes in a women’s life there are moments when she needs to be free, and he expressed that men feel that way all the time, but often find themselves lost in what society thinks is right. We spoke about how people sleep with someone without knowing if that’s the right person to trust with their health, much less their heart…the very next day I took an AIDS test, among other things. Let’s be real, you can’t find a relationship of any kind if you don’t know who you’re truly attracting. I want to know that the next person I’m with doesn’t have this fear, I need for them to know that I’m not just someone who is taken to bed for a moment of pleasure, something to talk about with their boys, or easily dismissed. Show me your freedom, and I’ll show you mine.
Now, that brings me to my next topic: Married Women and Fifty Shades of Grey.
I have noticed that a lot of married women are reading the series, and relaying to their husbands about their new found urge. From what I’ve gathered by a few of my married friends, is that the books have sparked the fire back in their vanilla marriage. I have also noticed that mothers are opening up to their teens about the topic of sex again, and how it’s ok to want to experiment, just so long as it’s not pacifying a fear or a loss. Moreover, I have noticed that the conversations between women have become more invasive than before. We’re no longer talking about the longing of something special to come into our lives, but more of the knowledge that we have become aware of what we want, and aren’t willing to settle for just anything mediocre.
I know what you must be thinking, I have given lots of attention to these books, with GetGlue check-in and twitter quotes, for someone who doesn’t like them very much. It’s only because I needed something I could read, and covey to these days…sometimes one needs mindless reading in their lives. It seems that Grey’s the only one I could correlate with these past couple of months, and I’m just about ready to throw in the towel with the rest of the series. I’m only on Darker, but for some reason I can’t get passed Ana, who has become a washed-out character in all these books for me, which is pretty sad.