When I started reading Fifty Shades of Grey, it downed on me that I was looking for something to take my mind out of my own gutter. I had fallen victim of my own free time, and basically chastised myself for dabbling close to one man’s mind. When it backfired, I settled comfortably onto the story of, Christian Grey.

Grey’s Character is by far the only thing that kept my nose inside the pages of these awful books.  I needed to know why she had twisted and emotionally fucked up this character to the point where I found myself defending his life style, and wanting to have a better understanding, for why men do some of the things they do.  It’s common, and realistic for some men to fall in to habit due to their fears.  Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of nostalgia, fear of their self worth.

Before I get really personal, let me express that it would have been delightful to see these characters in their 30’s . I can’t tell you how many times I bypassed Ana’s dialogue, simply because I felt trapped inside the mind of a 14 year old girl.  Perhaps the story could have become a bit more interesting without contemporary undertakings, but I guess when one is having a romance with a millionaire those are the things we must apply to a story.  I on the other hand, could’ve easily lived without having to read about the helicopter, the authors’ obsessions with Audi’s, and the fact that she made Christian a stalker.

I’m not sure why these book have become so on demand, but they’ve been pulled from some of the libraries here in Miami, not for the thousands of women on the waiting list hoping to read it, but for the fact that it’s been classified as “Porn’.  Now, I understand the EL James, made these book a bit more graphic then what we’ve read in the past few years, although I’m sure its nothing we haven’t seen in movies these days. However the only thing that I can give credit to is  that its open people to talking about sex again, but in a very in your face manner.

Not too long ago I found myself having an adult conversation with a man, and when I say “adult”, I’m expressing that there was nothing but pure honesty holding our words together.  I spoke about how sometimes in a women’s life there are moments when she needs to be free, and he expressed that men feel that way all the time, but often find themselves lost in what society thinks is right.  We spoke about how people sleep with someone without knowing if that’s the right person to trust with their health, much less their heart…the very next day I took an AIDS test, among other things.  Let’s be real, you can’t find a relationship of any kind if you don’t know who you’re truly attracting. I want to know that the next person I’m with doesn’t have this fear, I need for them to know that I’m not just someone who is taken to bed for a moment of pleasure, something to talk about with their boys, or easily dismissed.  Show me your freedom, and I’ll show you mine.

Now, that brings me to my next topic: Married Women and Fifty Shades of Grey.

I have noticed that a lot of married women are reading the series, and relaying to their husbands about their new found urge. From what I’ve gathered by a few of my married friends, is that the books have sparked the fire back in their vanilla marriage. I have also noticed that mothers are opening up to their teens about the topic of sex again, and how it’s ok to want to experiment, just so long as it’s not pacifying a fear or a loss. Moreover, I have noticed that the conversations between women have become more invasive than before. We’re no longer talking about the longing of something special to come into our lives, but more of the knowledge that we have become aware of what we want, and aren’t willing to settle for just anything mediocre.

I know what you must be thinking, I have given lots of attention to these books, with GetGlue check-in and twitter quotes, for someone who doesn’t like them very much. It’s only because I needed something I could read, and covey to these days…sometimes one needs mindless reading in their lives.  It seems that Grey’s the only one I could correlate with these past couple of months, and I’m just about ready to throw in the towel with the rest of the series.  I’m only on Darker, but for some reason I can’t get passed Ana, who has become a washed-out character in all these books for me, which is pretty sad.

For the majority of Grey, I wanted to beat the crap out of Ana, myself. Until she gained enough strength towards the very end to put that man in his place. I’m so intrigued by what Darker has to offer; I need to know why Christian Grey, is so fifty shades of fucked up! Now, let me express that I am not a violent person, nor do I condone violence in any way, I’m all about making love in all the right places. Now with that said, it’s interesting how there are men, and women like Grey, in this world.  Oddly enough I find a little pleasure in knowing that they do exists,only cause it can spice things up in a very dull relationship or lack there off. It makes life far more interesting knowing that someone isn’t afraid to explore a little in their sexuality. After reading this book, I spoke to a few men, who decided to share their stories with me, and what I found is that, it’s not so much the pain that turns them on, but the fact that they are “pleasing” a woman (with consent) with another form of love making.

I also spoke to a woman who said, “It’s not so much the slap on the ass at the moment that excites her, it’s the idea of the slap on the ass that turns her own most.”

Now, I’m a fan of strapping someone to a bed… but we live in a society of phobias in which people don’t like the idea of being strapped to a bed, even if it’s for pleasure. Also it’s kind of hard when you live in the new millennium where flats bed, head boards, and sleigh beds rule the bedroom.

However, this book is filled with a life style we dare not speak of, however it feeds a small part of us who want to let go, and indulge just for the sake of exploring…in doing so, we might find that the outcome may not be a bad thing after all, but… how far would you go for pleasure, and pain &  love and lust?

We may not have the extremes that Christian Grey, exhibits in these books… but we often find ourselves in a relationship, where we would succumb to pain in order to feel love, whether it is with words, physical or emotional. Unfortunately we live in a time where relationships don’t always last, and some of the ones that do often come with a price. Now please know that this isn’t my idea of love, moreover it’s quite frankly one of the darkest sides to a fantasy one could ever obtain…and the fact that it comes in a form of a so called love story completely captured me.

I don’t want anyone to mistaken this with the ultimate signs of love, cause SNM isn’t LOVE. However it’s differently one of the most seductive stories I have read in a very long time. I’m usually caught up with the hopeless romantic novels, that in fact it’s hard for me to see beyond anything that’s not, boy meets girl, falls in love, and they live happily ever after, but I for once felt I needed something more out of my reading past time. And heaven behold this book is full of it, now if you can get passed the repetitive dialogue, and the fan girl story line based off of Stephanie Meyers, Twilight, than this is the book for you.

So with that said, let me also add that I’m seeing a lot of talk about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ becoming a major motion picture, and I’m not very happy with the names thrown out there, but if I were to have a pick of who should play Christian Grey, I’m going to have to go with Tom.