Romance is not only my day job, but it’s also my morning cup of coffee, why I get dressed every day, and my reason for breathing. Yes, I understand that you think romance is important when it comes to relationships, and although, I might be in the crossroads of one, the one relationship I never seem to have a problem with is the one I have with myself. Many times I’ve been asked “Do you think it’s healthy that you are always romancing yourself, kind of makes it hard, it’s like they are always competing with you, no?” and my answer to that is always, “no.” I spend more time alone then I do in relationships, and since it’s the little things that count, and no one knows me better than I know myself, I seem to keep things wonderful when it comes to me, and although I’m hopeful about love, I can’t help but to romance myself every chance I get. Today, I treated myself to lunch, sat outside and enjoyed this beautiful cool breeze in Miami, bought a book by the self-title of this blog, and Thanked everyone for the little complements as I walked between buildings while wearing my emerald skirt, royal blue lace top and cat shades. I can’t wait to go home and read all about romance.
So this is the man who will play Christian Grey, in Fifty Shades of Grey…WOW! I’m going to be extremely honest, and get it out of the way, but I did not enjoy these books one bit.
For starters, while reading the books it dawned on me that they were a poor X-rated imitation of the Twilight Saga, which I did enjoy because I have a fascination for mythical creatures, therefor Vampires are my favorite dead-people in the world, so that’s one. And two; come on, REALLY ladies? Half of the shit written in these books are so basic, and seeing how crazy women were becoming over the very sloppy detail of intimacy or lack thereof, I was beginning to question…”Was there something wrong with me?”
Now, when I started the books I was involved with a man whose personality and unattainable feelings resembled those of Christian Grey. The story of my life. So every page I read was just another reminder of a man I needed to get out of my system in more ways than one. MAN…everyone should fuck like this. His fucking tapped right into all of my issues, and I needed every single one of his fucked up issues inside me.
Later I learned that not a lot of women have experienced sex this way, and it was a reality check that couples are sticking to the basic formality of sex (vanilla sex) and women comforted to living vicariously through them as if this was the first sex book to hit the market. For some reason couples have lost the spice that happens in the beginning of relationships over time, while others have found that if it weren’t for these books, they wouldn’t have been able to approach their partner, and find the kinks that apply most to them. Now, I’m not going to say that spanking the shit out of a woman’s ass to the point where she can’t sit the next day is right. Fuck that side of the book. I’m talking exotic- sweaty- hungry- tie me- I can’t live without having you- and the next day I’m still feeling the motion inside of me sex, all at the thought of you. Not toxic sex, that’s just gross.
However, I apologize for veering off topic , but let’s go back to this guy right here. The universe couldn’t have given us a better looking man to play the role of fucking Christian Grey. Allow me to express that when I read the books I gave Christian a beard, along with a personality who could fuck even your shadow if you let it. Now, I’m not going to fake the funk, and tell you that I wont be buying a ticket to opening night, because I will be there opening night. I mean, c’mon…I want to see Charlie Hunnam split that woman in half. Let’s face it, if you can’t get your ass spanked and hair pulled during sex every once in a while, then you’re not living. ;)
Bella Andre’s is sitting back watching how three of her Sullivans’ novels climb peek all the way to the top of the New York Times best sellers. That has to be the most rewarding feeling in the world, to get to the point where countless nights filled with sleep deprivation and thousands upon thousands of word editing could simply payoff by turning you into a house hold name. I am giving you a preview of ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’ by Bella Andre’s for you to enjoy. Good luck!
New York Times List:
29. IF YOU WERE MINE
31. CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE
Today I’m home with what seems to be a very bad case of walking pneumonia, I haven’t had a moment to let my body heal, puling almost a 100 hrs last week. I am completely beat. Now while I’m in bed doing absolutely nothing with a big size of heavy resting, I will be traveling into, World War I. I will be experiencing the story of an American on the Italian front, and hoping to be captivated by his passion for an English nurse. My Good Reads for today is: A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway.
When I started reading Fifty Shades of Grey, it downed on me that I was looking for something to take my mind out of my own gutter. I had fallen victim of my own free time, and basically chastised myself for dabbling close to one man’s mind. When it backfired, I settled comfortably onto the story of, Christian Grey.
Grey’s Character is by far the only thing that kept my nose inside the pages of these awful books. I needed to know why she had twisted and emotionally fucked up this character to the point where I found myself defending his life style, and wanting to have a better understanding, for why men do some of the things they do. It’s common, and realistic for some men to fall in to habit due to their fears. Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of nostalgia, fear of their self worth.
Before I get really personal, let me express that it would have been delightful to see these characters in their 30’s . I can’t tell you how many times I bypassed Ana’s dialogue, simply because I felt trapped inside the mind of a 14 year old girl. Perhaps the story could have become a bit more interesting without contemporary undertakings, but I guess when one is having a romance with a millionaire those are the things we must apply to a story. I on the other hand, could’ve easily lived without having to read about the helicopter, the authors’ obsessions with Audi’s, and the fact that she made Christian a stalker.
I’m not sure why these book have become so on demand, but they’ve been pulled from some of the libraries here in Miami, not for the thousands of women on the waiting list hoping to read it, but for the fact that it’s been classified as “Porn’. Now, I understand the EL James, made these book a bit more graphic then what we’ve read in the past few years, although I’m sure its nothing we haven’t seen in movies these days. However the only thing that I can give credit to is that its open people to talking about sex again, but in a very in your face manner.
Not too long ago I found myself having an adult conversation with a man, and when I say “adult”, I’m expressing that there was nothing but pure honesty holding our words together. I spoke about how sometimes in a women’s life there are moments when she needs to be free, and he expressed that men feel that way all the time, but often find themselves lost in what society thinks is right. We spoke about how people sleep with someone without knowing if that’s the right person to trust with their health, much less their heart…the very next day I took an AIDS test, among other things. Let’s be real, you can’t find a relationship of any kind if you don’t know who you’re truly attracting. I want to know that the next person I’m with doesn’t have this fear, I need for them to know that I’m not just someone who is taken to bed for a moment of pleasure, something to talk about with their boys, or easily dismissed. Show me your freedom, and I’ll show you mine.
Now, that brings me to my next topic: Married Women and Fifty Shades of Grey.
I have noticed that a lot of married women are reading the series, and relaying to their husbands about their new found urge. From what I’ve gathered by a few of my married friends, is that the books have sparked the fire back in their vanilla marriage. I have also noticed that mothers are opening up to their teens about the topic of sex again, and how it’s ok to want to experiment, just so long as it’s not pacifying a fear or a loss. Moreover, I have noticed that the conversations between women have become more invasive than before. We’re no longer talking about the longing of something special to come into our lives, but more of the knowledge that we have become aware of what we want, and aren’t willing to settle for just anything mediocre.
I know what you must be thinking, I have given lots of attention to these books, with GetGlue check-in and twitter quotes, for someone who doesn’t like them very much. It’s only because I needed something I could read, and covey to these days…sometimes one needs mindless reading in their lives. It seems that Grey’s the only one I could correlate with these past couple of months, and I’m just about ready to throw in the towel with the rest of the series. I’m only on Darker, but for some reason I can’t get passed Ana, who has become a washed-out character in all these books for me, which is pretty sad.
For the majority of Grey, I wanted to beat the crap out of Ana, myself. Until she gained enough strength towards the very end to put that man in his place. I’m so intrigued by what Darker has to offer; I need to know why Christian Grey, is so fifty shades of fucked up! Now, let me express that I am not a violent person, nor do I condone violence in any way, I’m all about making love in all the right places. Now with that said, it’s interesting how there are men, and women like Grey, in this world. Oddly enough I find a little pleasure in knowing that they do exists,only cause it can spice things up in a very dull relationship or lack there off. It makes life far more interesting knowing that someone isn’t afraid to explore a little in their sexuality. After reading this book, I spoke to a few men, who decided to share their stories with me, and what I found is that, it’s not so much the pain that turns them on, but the fact that they are “pleasing” a woman (with consent) with another form of love making.
I also spoke to a woman who said, “It’s not so much the slap on the ass at the moment that excites her, it’s the idea of the slap on the ass that turns her own most.”
Now, I’m a fan of strapping someone to a bed… but we live in a society of phobias in which people don’t like the idea of being strapped to a bed, even if it’s for pleasure. Also it’s kind of hard when you live in the new millennium where flats bed, head boards, and sleigh beds rule the bedroom.
However, this book is filled with a life style we dare not speak of, however it feeds a small part of us who want to let go, and indulge just for the sake of exploring…in doing so, we might find that the outcome may not be a bad thing after all, but… how far would you go for pleasure, and pain & love and lust?
We may not have the extremes that Christian Grey, exhibits in these books… but we often find ourselves in a relationship, where we would succumb to pain in order to feel love, whether it is with words, physical or emotional. Unfortunately we live in a time where relationships don’t always last, and some of the ones that do often come with a price. Now please know that this isn’t my idea of love, moreover it’s quite frankly one of the darkest sides to a fantasy one could ever obtain…and the fact that it comes in a form of a so called love story completely captured me.
I don’t want anyone to mistaken this with the ultimate signs of love, cause SNM isn’t LOVE. However it’s differently one of the most seductive stories I have read in a very long time. I’m usually caught up with the hopeless romantic novels, that in fact it’s hard for me to see beyond anything that’s not, boy meets girl, falls in love, and they live happily ever after, but I for once felt I needed something more out of my reading past time. And heaven behold this book is full of it, now if you can get passed the repetitive dialogue, and the fan girl story line based off of Stephanie Meyers, Twilight, than this is the book for you.
So with that said, let me also add that I’m seeing a lot of talk about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ becoming a major motion picture, and I’m not very happy with the names thrown out there, but if I were to have a pick of who should play Christian Grey, I’m going to have to go with Tom.
Everyone that knows me knows that I sweat the smallest things, from no pens in the house to the lunch menu for tomorrow…this has become habit in order for me not to stress over the big things that take away from all the important things in my life, things like bills, and things we have no control over. Not to long ago, I had to take a moment and find ground because the important things in life were starting to pile up, and needed my attention ASAP, during this time a friend of mine came over to the house to share some insight, and handed me a number of books that have to do with God, life and how not to ‘sweat the small stuff’. I am truly grateful for my friends, day to day, online or simply through a hand written letter, because they always take time out of their busy lives to bring some wisdom into mine. Here is my good Fall/Autumn read, enjoy!
Most of you have asked since my divorce if I would ever get married again. My answer as been the same since I signed the papers, Yes…I would totally do it again! Just because it didn’t work out the first time, doesn’t mean I’m going to place the whole idea on the back burner and watch it disintegrate. That would only indicate that I learned nothing from it. Now just to clarify, marriage isn’t something I think about all the time, but when it does come up, I try my best to think of it in a good light. I am not completely turned off by the idea, and I still believe that I will find love one day, but in the mean time I will learn all the languages it has to offer. I will give chance to relationships, whether its with friends, a mutual person, a co-worker or myself; I will listen to what my heart has to say from here on out.