Relationships could be the best thing to happen to you and also by the same token the most horrible thing to grace your heart. After a conversation with one of my friends, it dawned on me that not every bad relationship is a bad thing; per-say, sometimes a bad relationship could result in you being the best you –forever.
Months ago, I had a conversation with Mutant-model, where she pointed out that I had a “thing for broken birds”, and also that was extremely true back then, and completely obvious because of a pattern I had developed unwillingly after the breakup with the Love of My Life in 2001. I am happy to report, I have now broken from all the bad habits I have ever put in my life. I am aware of myself, aware of those broken birds, aware of their routines and habits, I am also aware of their relationships before me (which speaks volumes about a person) and that has helped in seeing them clearly even when they are still trying to figure themselves out.
It wasn’t until I saw the Love of My Life, that I was able to see the difference between my relationship with him always, appose to the relationships I have punished myself with over the years. Being with him there are no fires to put out, there is no chase, there is no “butterflies” the stomach pains that come from red flags, he isn’t broken. And I can yell ALWAYS, and he laughs because my voice cracks ALWAYS. He doesn’t hurt, he isn’t punishing me from something that went wrong in his life (our lives). Even when we were 21, and when I said
good bye to him at 24 and 32 and 35. He has always been able to find something good about us, just as I saw all the good in him for many moons, and for example –this morning he pointed out all the awesome in me still, (that’s a great sign) after 16 years. Now, even though we temporarily went our separate ways, it doesn’t mean he was broken and I punishing those who came into his life. On the contrary, I had a broken heart, and punished myself for letting us go, but I was doing it for my country, so you’re welcome! I let him go during the most difficult time in the history of our American soil. But back to seeing the good in someone.
Just because we see the potential in someone doesn’t mean we have to subsume to being in their lives. That just means we see in them something awesome, and chances are that the awesome we see, is a reflection of ourselves. The true test comes when they in return see potential in you, that mean’s that they are aware of the potential in them too, and that’s when the thinking bubble comes in and lets you know; this person is willing to be awesome with you. And then, and ONLY then, should you begin to consider the possibilities of having someone like that in your life.
Take Frankenstein and his Bride. Just like Disney loved feeding the princes crap to little girls all over the world, these two have also placed a hazy cloud over people. He was completely broken, but just because someone is broken, doesn’t mean its your job to fix them. They need to FIX themselves. Be whole before bringing someone into your life. Don’t think that because they are broken you are broken too. Realize that you are simply shedding and shedding means growth, hope, inspiring and ambitious. Broken people hurt. They also hurt anything and everyone in their lives. And if that is the case then your best bet is to not let yourself be fooled by the ONLY tiny pretty piece on this person’s persona, chances are you’re looking at a fraction of yourself. Go buy yourself an amazing mirror where you can see the rest of YOU perfectly. Do not compromise yourself for a lost soul. A broken person has nothing to offer but pain, unless you are into that kind of thing, then date away.