I have been single going on two years, and it wasn’t until recently that I tuned into just how much most of my coupled friends enjoy my single life.
You’d think it’d be the other way around, but as it turns out I have heard, “You’re lucky to be single” a lot more than I’ve ever imagine I would, and it’s far more than I had ever hoped to be reminded of so it’s made me feel less lucky to have such a reality constantly celebrated by others.
I for one disliked the thought of being single. I do, and it’s puzzling because I am one of the few who enjoys being in a relationship; now, I’m well aware that of all the relationships I have ever walked into all have been out of fear of not finding someone forever. However, it wasn’t until my last relationship that I later accepted the thought of an always rather than a forever, the two are in fact extremely different, and waiting for the right person to come for an always rather than forcing, and trying to make something work out of old bad forever habits (not just mind, but also theirs) was a great lesson to learn.
Moreover, here’s what I’ve accepted about myself while patiently recovering…
Just because I like the idea of a relationship, doesn’t necessarily mean I am built for one. I have to remind myself of this when the cute talkers come around. That was a lesson learn that the hard way, and it wasn’t until I was with some guy who kept reminding me that, “You have to be patient. I was in love with the idea of you, Wajima…” more times that I would have ever hoped for, in order to accept that it was his reality, that after the dust settled was able to clarify mine, and that the IDEA of a relationship is what I love most, but the reality is that I’m not built for the common relationship, and that’s what I was hung up on.
I need something more.
I need someone honest.
I need someone adorable.
I need someone with ambition, dreams, values and beliefs.
I am not missing love, its everywhere I turn, it’s in me, I see it; therefore, I’m surrounded by it and I am never without.
I am one of the few who loves her space. I love to be able to do what I want with no interference in my quality time, and I also love sleeping alone. I love my down-time, and I love taking long showers and not sharing my towels with anyone, and I also love pampering myself without thinking of someone else’s needs.
Therefore, if I open my world to you it’s only because I believe you’re worth sharing my air with, how you handle breathing is something I can’t control. I can’t stop you from walking away, and I’ll never beg you to stay, the only thing that I can control is love; I love to love, and I have learned to love in space and time. You don’t have to be with someone in order to love. All you need to do is love yourself, keep it moving and eventually the right person will always love the way you love and move.
Happy Valentine’s Day from my heart to yours.
P.S make sure to check out Drake’s new album: If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late on iTunes today.